A Dream to Believe In Page 4

  “She said Annie insisted. But knowing Annie, she insisted because she knows that Mom and Jason can use all the income they can get right now. It’s been a hard winter for the lodge.”

  “It’s been hard at the gallery, too. So many harsh days and weekends when we’d normally have tourists in town.”

  “Well, hopefully, you all will have a fabulous tourist season this summer.”

  “I bet your boys are looking forward to the summer.”

  “They are. They love when I work at Sweet River Lodge during the summers when school is out. They love hanging around the lodge. Jason usually has them helping out around the lodge, too. Not to mention he takes them hiking and fishing.”

  “He’s great with the boys.”

  “He’s a great brother, but don’t ever let him know I said that.” Beth grinned. She took another sip of her wine and glanced at her watch. “You about ready to head over to Bookish Cafe and grab a salad?”

  “Ready when you are.” Sophie stood up.

  They put their glasses in the sink, grabbed their jackets, and headed down Main Street for dinner.

  What had she been thinking? Was she out of her mind? Why in the world had she accepted Nick’s offer of help? Annie swiped at an imaginary streak on the window. She glanced at her watch for like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes.

  If she’d had Nick’s cell phone number, she would have called and cancelled. No, better yet, texted and cancelled. Made up some excuse why he couldn’t come this evening. She straightened a stack of books and adjusted some pamphlets near the door. Her customers were scattered around the shop, browsing books or eating sandwiches or salads at the tables in the cafe area. She wandered over and straightened some chairs at the empty tables.

  And glanced at her watch yet again.

  The door open and she swirled around.

  Not Nick. Relief rushed through her, promptly replaced with uneasiness because he was bound to show up any minute.

  “Annie, hi.” Beth crossed over and gave her a big hug. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  Annie hugged Beth and smiled at Sophie. “I hear you’ve been busy.”

  “I have been, but Sophie and I are having a girl’s night out. Mom’s got the boys tonight. We came in for some salads.”

  The door opened again, and Annie froze.

  “You okay?” Beth reached out and placed a hand on Annie’s arm. “Annie?”

  “What? Yes. I’m fine.”

  Nick crossed the distance in a few strides and flashed his treacherous smile. Everyone in the shop faded away for a brief moment while she let his smile settle all around her. Then she quickly stepped back as if sliding out of the circle of influence his smile had over her.

  “I’m reporting for duty.” He still smiled, but she was safely out of its reach. Kind of.

  “Nick, ah…”

  Beth and Sophie stood watching her.

  “Um, Nick. This is Beth, and this is Sophie. Beth is Nora’s daughter.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Nick stared at Beth. “You’re the spitting image of your mother.”

  Beth laughed. “I hear that all the time. So you know my mom?”

  “I knew her a long time ago. I’m staying at Sweet River Lodge now.”

  “Oh…” A look of putting two-and-two together crossed Beth’s face.

  “Nick is an old… friend.” Annie didn’t know how else to describe him. She could just say that Nick was the man who crushed her heart and her dreams ever so many years ago.

  Nick seemed oblivious to her introduction turmoil. “More emphasis on the friend than the old.” Nick winked.

  Beth grabbed Sophie’s arm. “We’ll just go grab our salads and let you two… do whatever it is you’re planning on doing.”

  Annie watched as they walked away, their heads bent together, obviously talking about her and Nick. Nora must have told Beth about him.

  Now it was just her and Nick.

  She should tell him it was a bad idea for him to help her.

  She’d changed her mind.

  He should leave.

  Chapter 7

  Nick spun around at the sound of a crash from the corner. The wails of a young boy filled the shop. He froze in place, a terrible fear immobilizing him, torn between rushing to help, like he’d been trained, or running out the door. He fought back the now familiar panic and forced himself to follow Annie who was already rushing over to the table in the corner.

  “Jimmy, are you okay?” Annie knelt beside the boy and his mother.

  Nick joined her and bent down to one knee. “Hey there, son. Let me take a look.”

  The boy looked up at him through tear-filled eyes.

  Nick quickly assessed the situation as so many years had taught him to do. “Annie, do you have a first aid kit?”

  “I do.” Annie jumped up and hurried away. She was back quickly with the kit in her hand.

  “I’m Dr. Nick, by the way.”

  “I’m Jimmy.” The boy sniffled.

  “Jimmy, you’ve got a bit of an ouch on your forehead. I’m going to check it out for you, okay?”

  He could do this. It was a simple cut. Not a life and death decision. Nothing he did here would hurt the boy. It was simple first aid. He glanced at his hand, surprised to see it shaking. He willed his hands to steady, opened the first aid kit, and slipped on a pair of gloves from the kit. Soon his training and muscle memory kicked in as he deftly cleaned the gash, put on some butterfly bandages, then placed another bandage over that.

  The boy looked up at him with wide, trusting, bright blue eyes. The blue eyes almost did him in, but he consciously told himself to ignore them. “There, you’re all set. You’ll have quite the story to tell your friends at school tomorrow.”

  The boy swiped at his cheek, wiping away the last of his tears. “Thanks, Dr. Nick. That didn’t even hurt much.”

  “You were very brave.” Nick turned to the boy’s mother hovering over them. “I think he’ll be okay. But of course, if you have any concerns, you should contact his doctor. If he gets a headache, nausea, or dizziness, get him checked out. Never can be too careful when you conk your head.”

  “Thank you so much for your help.” The mom turned to the boy and wrapped him in a tight hug.

  “Mom, you’re squeezing me to death.” The boy squirmed.

  “I’m just glad you’re okay. But what have I told you about leaning back in your chair?”

  “I know, I know.” His long-suffering tone belied his tender age. “Maybe I’ll remember not to now.”

  Nick got to his feet. “Your mom has good advice. Chairs can be tricky things.”

  The boy reached up and gingerly touched the bandage on his forehead. “Yeah, they sure can.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sheila.” Annie reached out and took the mom’s hand.

  “It’s not your fault, Annie. Jimmy knows better.”

  “Well, I’m sorry he got hurt.” She turned to Jimmy. “If it’s okay with your mom, I bet we could get you a scoop of ice cream.”

  “Can I, Mom?”

  The woman nodded and sank into her chair. Nick could see relief was flooding through her, that moment when the adrenaline rush ebbs and all a person wants to do is sit and realize it’s all over.

  Annie walked away, but stopped and turned to look back at him. “I’ll meet you upstairs?”

  He nodded, then turned to Jimmy’s mom. “He’ll be fine.”

  “Thank you.” She looked up at him with grateful eyes.

  He headed up the stairs, needing a moment to compose himself. At least he hadn’t frozen. Well, not for long anyway. He was glad he’d been able to help the boy. He crossed over to the large picture window and stood in the semi-darkness. He looked down at his hands. They were shaking again. He balled them into fists and stared out at the river.

  Annie said goodbye to Jimmy and his mother and slowly climbed the stairs to the loft area. Nick had been great with Jimmy, comforting and pro
ficient at the same time. She’d seen a softer side of Nick, one she wasn’t expecting. In her mind, he was always the callous man who had left her without a thought about her feelings.

  Though, maybe she’d made up that version of him to help protect herself. They’d both been young and wanted different things back then. She knew that. But when he’d left, he’d taken a huge chunk of her heart and her soul with him.

  She reached the top of the stairs and saw Nick standing by the window looking out into the darkness. She crossed over to stand beside him. He looked down at her and smiled. “Jimmy all set with his ice cream?”

  “Yes, he and Sheila left with Jimmy licking his ice cream cone on the way out.”

  The moonlight filtered in the window, illuminating the planes of his face, casting a silvery light into the room. She looked sideways at him, glancing at his profile when he turned to look back out the window. The profile that was so much the same, and yet different. She brought her thoughts back to the present. “You were good with Jimmy. Did you work with kids?”

  Goodness, maybe he had a child of his own.

  But she couldn’t quite make herself ask him that. “I realize I don’t even know what kind of medicine you do. Or did.”

  “I do… did… pediatrics.” He took a deep breath and reached up to rake his hand through his hair. “Pediatric oncology.”

  She noticed his hands were a bit unsteady and frowned. “You okay?”

  “What? Sure.” He crammed his hands into his pockets.

  “So you worked with kids with cancer? Wow, that’s a tough job.” She couldn’t imagine that. But it took a caring person to choose that field, to try and make a difference for the kids. “That must be really hard.”

  “It is.” His voice was low, but she didn’t miss the edge of pain hidden in his words.

  That tortured tone made her want to reach out and touch him, but of course, she didn’t. Couldn’t. “Is that why you needed to take a break? Just to get away from it for a while?”

  “Something like that.”

  She waited for him to explain more but soon realized that was all he was going to give her. She couldn’t quite get over this different side of Nick. So different than the Nick she’d painted a picture of all these years. The self-centered, what’s-in-it-for-him Nick. The one who could just carelessly walk away from her after years of planning a life together.

  He turned to look at her, closing the book on discussing his life. “So, do you have drawings for the loft area? Let’s look at them. Make a plan of attack and see if we can get this loft of yours finished by the May Festival.”

  And just like that, the moment was over.

  She crossed the room, flipped on the overhead lights, and led the way to a table in the corner where she’d spread out the drawings for the addition. She smoothed out the wrinkled pages, worn from countless times of poring over all the little details.

  “Over there is where I still need to frame in a wall and drywall it.” She pointed. “I’m going to leave the bricks exposed on that wall over there.”

  “It’s going to look nice, Annie. You did a good job maximizing the space here and keeping an open feeling with that great view.”

  His praise warmed her even though she didn’t want it to. She didn’t really want anything from him.

  Well, except she would accept his help with the loft. He owed her that much, didn’t he?

  Nick sat in front of the fire in his cabin late that night after coming back from Annie’s. He nursed a bottle of beer, but mostly just stared into the flames. His stockinged feet were propped up on the hearth and he’d left the lights out. The room was faintly illuminated by the dancing flames casting flickering shadows on the walls of the cabin.

  He sat wrapped in the cozy light and the warmth of the fire. It had been forever since he’d just sat. Not doing charts. Not reading medical journals. Not reading research papers on some new technique that had come out to try and battle the unending stream of types of cancer these kids had to fight. Not thinking of death and pain.

  He just sat.

  Like a normal person.

  He took another sip of the beer. He’d almost lost it when Jimmy had fallen, but he’d managed to pull himself together. What kind of doctor panics when a kid is hurt and needs him?

  The kind of doctor he’d finally become. One who didn’t know who he was anymore or what he was going to do.

  A doctor hiding out from his real life.

  If only relaxing in front of the fire like this and working beside Annie could be real life. But it wasn’t. He’d been trained for years in his field. He had a lot he could do, could give.

  He just wasn’t sure there was anything left of him to do that giving anymore.

  Chapter 8

  “Are you crazy? He’s helping you with the loft?” Nora looked at Annie and scowled. “I’m not thinking that’s very smart.”

  “It probably isn’t.” Annie took a sip of her coffee while she perched on the edge of her desk. “But, honestly, I can use the help if I want to get the loft area open by the May Festival.”

  Nora looked closely at her friend. She couldn’t tell what was going on in Annie’s mind. Well, that wasn’t exactly the truth. Annie was confused. Nick always used to be able to charm her.

  Evidently, he still could.

  “So he came here last night?” Nora settled into a chair in Annie’s office.

  “He did. And while he was here, Jimmy Nelson fell and split his head open. Nick cleaned him all up and bandaged him. He was really great with Jimmy. Gentle.”

  Nora knew that look. Annie was softening towards Nick. “Annie, you need to be careful.”

  “I know.” Annie sighed. “I just… well, I saw a different side of him last night.”

  “A different side than the man who crushed your heart? Crushed it so badly that you’ve never let yourself really be interested in anyone since then?”

  “It’s not that I’ve never been interested in anyone. Not exactly.”

  “Right, there was poor Leonard. You guys dated for like ten years. Nothing ever came of it.”

  “Leonard was a nice… well, friend. Nothing more.”

  “So tell me another name of someone who you’ve gone out with more than a handful of times.”

  “I don’t know. I’m sure there have been some.”

  Nora cocked her head. “Really?”

  “Well, maybe not. Not really. But I’m fine. I like my life the way it is. I love it actually.”

  “I know you do. So maybe playing with fire… or Nick… however you want to look at it, isn’t so smart.”

  “I know.” Annie looked down at her hands.

  “But he’s leaving soon and going back to his real job, right?” Why couldn’t Annie see what a big mistake this was? Well, she knew the answer to that. Because… Nick.

  “He is. I found out he’s a pediatric oncologist.”

  Nora let out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s some job.”

  “I know, right? No wonder he’s taking a break and teaching this semester. I would think a job like that would just eat on you.”

  “I just can’t reconcile my vision of Nick, selfishly leaving you and taking off, with Nick the pediatric oncologist.” Nora stretched out her legs and noticed her boots could use a good cleaning. Or at least knock some of the dirt off from the ever-present mud left from the thawing snow. She hoped she hadn’t tracked much into Annie’s shop. Though everyone was used to muddy footprints this time of year. It just came with living here.

  She looked up at Annie, who was staring into her coffee cup, possibly avoiding her and her questions.

  Annie finally looked up from her perusal of her cup. “He’s coming over Sunday afternoon while the shop is closed. We’re going to see if we can get that last wall up.”

  “I could still send Jason over. He could help.” And maybe intervene in between Annie and Nick. Nora wasn’t sure she wanted them to spend any more time alone.

  Her friend
had one fatal flaw, one weakness. And that weakness was Nick Chambers.

  Annie shook her head. “No, I think Nick and I can get it. Besides, I know Jason is busy at the lodge. You have to get everything ready for the May Festival too, and your busy season. Don’t worry about me. I promise I’ll be careful. I’m grateful for Nick’s help with the remodel, but that’s all it is.”

  But somehow she didn’t believe Annie’s words, even if Annie did. She could see the look in her friend’s eyes. The look that said Nick was sliding back into her life—and maybe into her heart—if he’d ever even been gone from it.

  Promptly at noon on Sunday, Nick showed up at the back door to Bookish Cafe. Annie let him in like it was the most natural thing in the world. Let Nick into the shop. Let Nick into her life…

  He smiled at her as he entered. She ignored his smile. Mostly.

  She led them up to the loft and over to the table with her plans.

  “Okay, let’s tackle this wall.” Nick pulled on work gloves, and they started to work without any mindless chatter.

  Which suited Annie just fine, thank-you-very-much.

  Only soon she wanted him to talk to her about something other than measurements of boards and hand-me-the-hammer. Wanted to know more about his life since he’d left Sweet River Falls. Wanted to know why he needed a break from his work.

  Wanted to know why she hadn’t been enough to keep him here all those years ago…

  That thought was always on her mind these days. Oh, she knew they’d wanted different things, and her older self realized she’d been unwilling to give up Sweet River Falls for him, either. Sometimes love didn’t win, didn’t conquer all.

  She resolutely pushed all thoughts of the past from her mind. They worked quietly side by side, with few words, until they finished the framework for the new wall. She’d forgotten how well they worked together. So many hours of helping her father at his job sites when Nick would come home from college for the summer break and needed to earn money for school.